A Traditional Girl
She’s a traditional girl; she likes tea and bread. When he had said “for better or for worse,” in their wedding he didn’t know that the “worse” part was her love for tea and bread. She drinks tea and bread all the time and she is always leaving cups or tea and half eaten plates of bread in every room in their house. This is because she carries her tea and bread in every room she has business in and she forgets it, then makes another one which she carries to another room. With all those plates of bread scattered in rooms of the house, often it feels like their house is one big mouse-trap experiment.
She also has this condition where after 5:30pm her legs swell as you can see from this photo. Two in every a million people have this condition in the world. It’s almost like all the blood drains from her neck and goes to her legs. Its not painful, though, just heavy and annoying because she always has to tell guests that it is NOT Elephantiasis. So its always easier not to have guests over past 5pm. Or eat out. Which means he always has to cook dinner which he never minds because he loves to cook for her while she lounges on the sofa reading him jokes from old Readers Digest magazines that she inherited from her mom.
“How does Moses make tea?”
“A man tells a doctor, “doc help me I’m addicted to Twitter!” The doctor says, “sorry, I don’t follow you.”
“Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?”
“He was just going through a stage.”
They would laugh so loudly at these jokes.
That, for him, is the “better” part of their “for better or worse” wedding vows.
This painting is at Java Rosslyn.